If you have a fear of dentists or needles then here is my story about how I went from fear to relaxation.
Now: I have had crowns completed and lots of dentist work done without so much as flinching, in fact I find it all rather calming, here is my story.
Once upon a time….
From childhood and having a horrendous dentist, think brown rotten teeth and not listening to me when i tried to communicate that what they did was painful to being an adult and taking my business card to a dentist appointment because I’d be shaking and crying so much I couldn’t tell the receptionist my name. If I needed work done I wouldn’t sleep for a week, the worry of the appointment looming over me keeping me awake at night and creeping into every quiet moment during the day. I would be short and snappy for days before an appointment, on edge knowing that I was going to be tortured imminently. Once, when I was at university a dentist told me I needed a filling, I got up out of the chair and ran out of the room, out of the practice and kept running until I got home, my boyfriend was sent after me by the dentist and apparently I didn’t respond to him shouting so he gave up chasing me and he had to pay for the appointment. Another time I had a filling done and sweated through all my clothes, left a puddle of sweat and tears on the chair and had to go home to change out of my wet clothes before returning to work. Another time a dentist told me I needed a wisdom tooth out and when I left I panicked and crashed the car. When said dentist took my tooth out I jumped out of my seat threatened to knock him out and refused to sit down for about 20 minutes. Then I screamed the place down and felt utterly traumatised. He was awful and so was the experience that I will never forget how violated and tortured I felt.
Over the years I found a dentist who was wonderful #awesomedentist, John Newland and even when he moved to a different practice an hours drive away I went with him. He was wonderful, he was patient, listened, explained and looked after me so my phobia of dentists declined through gentle exposure. Sadly the wisdom tooth episode with a “specialist” ruined all his hard work and I returned to having a huge fear.
At the end of October 2019 a filling chip came out and then I started suffering from nerve pain, excruciating and eye watering. John had retired and I had to find a new dentist. Filled with fear a friend recommended “Knowle Smile Spa” who have understanding dentists. I bit the bullet and booked an appointment. I managed to get through it without crying but was shaking and found it hard to speak. When he showed me the x rays and told me I needed work the tears started flowing and kept flowing even when I was at the reception paying and booking the appointment for the work.
The dentist saw my fear and took pity on me, prescribing a sedative for me to take before “the work”. Well, the sedative would mean that I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t collect the kids, couldn’t help out at my Daughter’s club, and I didn’t know if I’d be ok enough to look after them. I didn’t have anyone to do all that for me so the decision was not to take the sedative so I would need another way to cope with this hideous appointment that was looming large.
I chose to practice what I preach, I used my hypnotherapy techniques and visualised every night before going to sleep the whole appointment. From walking into the reception, to lying down, to the dentist looming over me with the massive needles, to the drills, and the jaw being locked open. I visualised it happening and the dentist being kind and gentle, I visualised me being calm and breathing through any pain, I visualised being in the sea (my happy place) while it was happening, I visualised it being a lovely experience again and again. When I first started my visualisation my heart would race at the thought of this dentist, anytime someone asked I would retract inwardly and clearly was so fearful that this would be a big ask. As the nights went on and I repeated my visualisation my heart slowed and I relaxed. Today when my friend asked about my appointment I actually said I was looking forward to seeing if my visualisation had helped.
On the day I walked into the dentist, smiled at the receptionist (who asked if I was feeling ok because she saw me crying last time) and I said “yes, I’m weirdly feeling very good”, I sat and waited focusing on my relaxation and visualisations. I got called in and the dentist and the nurse was surprised at how calm I was especially when they found out I hadn’t taken the sedation. I was fine, not a single tear, a little bit of a wobble when I had to open my mouth for the injections but that was fine too. No sweating, no crying, no shaking, no screaming, no vibrating legs, no speedy heart. I spent the whole time varying between thoughts of being in the sea and thinking about how amazing this was.
So there you have it, no magic, just power of the mind and retraining it, it took practice and rehearsal but I accomplished it with about 2hrs work in total.
I’m now sitting writing this happy as a pig in the proverbial, free of my fear. I wanted to share this so you can understand how you too have the power and ability to overcome your fear, if you want to and if you are willing to put in the work.
I have treated many individuals using hypnotherapy with fears and phobias around needles, dentists and health related situations. The benefit they feel is liberating and allows them to make choices based on what is best, rather than avoiding something scary.